Charlie Swan, the guy the freaking books should’ve been about.
He really needs his own spin-off/version of the Twilight Saga from his perspective
Mary Poppins: Stoping your incredibly sexist bullshit since 1964!
SO THIS IS WHERE THE DOCTOR GOT IT
Omg where have you been all my god damn worthless life
Time to wake up
My dad just dropped a bowl of pasta on the floor and it went everywhere, and he stared at it for like 5 minutes, sighed and then said ‘sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead’ and then he walked off without cleaning it up.
I told my dad a post about him has nearly 40k notes and he told me that he doesn’t understand what ‘tumblrering’ is but he doesn’t want to be involved in my lonely shenanigans.
HOW DO YOU MAKE A GUY
when guys talk about how gross periods are i just laugh because guys have a floppy piece of flesh that gets hard and that’s pretty fuckin weird, bucko
Dear tampon and pad companies:
Please make your items quieter to open.
The whole restaurant/household/bathroom now knows I am on my period, thank you.
I just thought my flat-mates were eating crisps in the toilet.
that is the single most british sentence i have ever read
so this morning my dad said
“hey we got some tomatos”
and i walk into the kITCHEN AND THE ENTIRE TABLE WAS COMPLETELY COVERED IN TOMATOS LIKE DAD THAT IS NOT SOME TOMATOS THAT IS A FUCKLOAD OF TOMATOS
WHRE DID YOU EVEN GET ALL OF THESE TOMATOS
JUST IN CASE YOU FUCKERS THOUGH TI WAS JOKING